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The Royalty Spiritual Experience

Anthony Quinn had been complaining to the producers of Across 110th Street about the billing they saw fit to give me above the title, equal with his. “Ralph.” I overheard Tony saying in Dino DE Laurentis’s office, not realizing I was in the next room overhearing..”How does the spade rate billing with me over the title, The guys a rookie, I have two academy awards”

“Dino ( De Laurentis) wants black people to come to see the movie, to do that Kotto gets star billing, not co-star, I agree with Dino. We just can’t have a white star leading the pack and the African American tagging behind. Besides, he’s a good looking guy, big talent, I saw him on Broadway in the Great White Hope..

“I still don’t like it. I’m a bigger name than he is. People are going to flock to see me, not him!” he grumbled. “He’s a rookie!” he thundered..

From that moment on Tony Quinn made my life sort of miserable in a humorous kind of way. Wherever we went he made sure he got the better of me. As we walked though an Italian neighborhood doing exterior shots for the movie. I made the mistake of saying, my neighbors in the Sound view projects were Sicilians, I learned a lot from them about Italy and the language, Fred Constantino taught me how to speak and understand Sicilian.

“I speak fluent, Sicilian, Napolitan, Latin, French, German, and Russian.

“I speak Spanish. It was my first language because my Mother is from Panama and my Father is from Cameroon..He spoke Hebrew, German, French and English.”

“Hm..My father spoke more languages then your father will ever speak in his life.”

“My father was a prince and his father, Manga Bell was King of Cameroon.”
“King, eh? So what? That’s nothing, My father was the son of a Mongolian lord of the Great Khan and Yuan Dynasty.!”

I was not completely sure if Tony was deliberately exaggerating his background, but as he walked up the street and I pointed out a block where one Christmas eve coming from the subway and walking home I was jumped by several gang members and robbed of my pitiful earnings from Alexander’s department store where I worked as a stock-boy, beaten and bleeding I stumbled to the police station and reported it.

He quickly told me how he was hung by the neck on the Steppes of Russia by Cosacks and left for dead, townspeople cut him down and took his half dead body to the Danube river where he escaped by boat.

Conscious of the great lie Anthony Quinn was pouring over me. I felt an overwhelming passion to compete in this childish gave I was being forced to play, I could no longer fight the urge and felt the need to boast when I said..

“Ah..Lennox Avenue..We’re coming into my people’s neighborhood now, brother.” I boasted as we went past the scores of black people on the street.

“Your people!” Tony Quinn thundered...”You mean our people...My grandmother was an African slave, she was the first cousin of Harriet Tubman on my mother’s side!” he said with a sense of pride.

That was it. I couldn’t take it anymore, I had to grasp at something, hold something over his head…

“Tony..one day when I win the academy award..” I started to say and he cut me off with...”

“Don’t bother winning, I’ve got two, I’ll loan you one of mine..”

He had me. I hadn’t won anything all I could do was find a way to bug him the way he was bugging me. Instinctively I knew what to do. 

“Well, if I can one day be as good as Brando was in the Godfather,,I might win an academy award.” That did it. That got him. He exploded.

“BRANDO??? all that mumbling and whispering. He played Don Corleone like a girl.” He thundered and then proceeded to give a yelling speech from the Godfather that he seem to know word for word.” “Bonasera. Bonasera>If you had come to me in friendship1” he roared “Then the scum who ruined your daughter would be punished this very day and then they would fear you...etcetera, etcetera”

When Quinn stopped performing, he was shaking as if some inner tidal horrendous wave of passion ha d engulfed him. He turned and stormed away from me just as a younger man, in a wrinkled suit approached him and asked. “Mr. Quinn. The Daily News would like to interview you.”

“Call my secretary for an audience.” He said as he stalked into the wind without turning back to the voice that had called out to him.

I had four or five days off on the shooting schedule so I decided to return to Los Angeles so that I could spend sometime with my young children, I was impressed with the area, my home in Pacific Palisaides was right across the street from Ronald Regan. The Pacific Ocean sparkles in the distance, and at night the million twinkling lights of Los Angeles and distant cities may be seen below, a veritable fairyland. 

The front hallway was large, with a vaulted ceiling. A large, framed picture of the whole family hung over an antique Chippendale table. My then wife, Rita had put fresh flowers in a vase on that table that morning. That’s when I saw the framed photo of my neighbors, Frank and Marilyn Roh. I stared at the photo as if seeing it for the first time, it was a gift given to me by Frank and somehow it was in the entry hall..I couldn’t stop staring at it there seem to be a light forming around the couple, but mostly on the woman I felt that in some deep psychological way, a prelude to something that was about to take place and it did,stunning me and sending me staggering backward. A vision of the star of David appeared in the forehead of the red headed woman, who was my assistant’s wife. I was somehow unable to breathe, I did’t shout, I didn’t run from the room, I did not panic. I backed up from the table until my back hit the foyer wall.

The flood-gates of emotions broke in my soul; I was inundated with waves of indescribable ecstasy. Words that had been merely words to me before, bliss, immortality, infinity, reality, worship, my Hebrew trainuing became clear in a flash of insight, the heart of my existence, the essence of my life, the only possible reality.

The realization that those words held a deep eternal meaning that led to the door of bliss was apparent to me. The knowledge that they were the road signs to a secret place within all of us filled me with joy! Knowing that hidden within this mortal body was the devotion of humanity, that this eternal, all-inclusive love enveloped and supported and guided every particle, every atom of creation, burst upon me with a guarantee, a divine assurance that caused my whole spirit and body to tremble in a flood of praise and gratitude.

I could discern, without using my mind, but with my mysterious intuition. I was aware of every cell and molecule of my body. The inspirational grandeur and ecstasy of this breakthrough was so enormous, so cosmic, that I felt that centuries, millenniums, countless eons of African suffering flashed before my inner sight, with no meaning at all, if by such means bliss beyond human suffering could be obtained. Racism, bigotry, prejudice—these were but terms now, words without meaning, expressions swallowed up with the fire of joy eating them up like dried kindling.

I was aware, during this super conscious experience it was a first period of illumination and during the months that followed, of a number of evil events that were to take place from a professional black thespian who would like to destroy my body and career. I felt as if there was a rearrangement of the molecular structure of my brain, or the unlocking of a closed safe that held new brain cells. It was as if worms were crawling through my head, day and night, I was conscious of this crawling taking place. It felt as if the worms owned their own private electrical drills and were boring new cellular thought-channels on both side of my head. This experience was strong proof that my Father’s African Prophets idea that Cosmic Consciousness is a natural function of man, because what was happening to me was flat out evidence that the brain cells, which are connected with an internal system that already exist in each one of us, though inactive or non-functioning in the majority of human beings it just needs to be turned on. Suddenly the Star of David in the woman’s forehead was gone…...this was just the beginning...

My spinal column had gone through the most important change of all. The whole spine seemed turned into iron for several weeks, so that, when I sat to meditate, I felt anchored down, able to sit in one place for hours and hours without motion or consciousness of any bodily function. Unusual visions sprang before my eyes, at one point upon opening my eyes, I saw a huge grey curtain extending down from above and stretching to the left and right of me toward and endless vantage point. When I questioned one of the SRF monks about this phenomenon, he said to me secretively. “The Chinese call it the veil.” At times, an incursion of human voices invaded my hearing, and I realize that I could hear every single conversation going on in the avenue where I live, from every house and backyard, even the conversations of passing motorist. 

I was confused and amaze, sometimes overwhelmed. I begged God to remove this experience, this nectar of super consciousness from me, It was too much, I had no center, I was everywhere at once and the bliss of incredible joy that bubbled through my veins was an actual, living force, that was as slippery as mercury, or a sort of electrical, fluid light that poured from head to toe of my body.

When I found my center, the voices receded and faded away and I had time to adjust to this illumination, I lost my appetite for food and I had no need to sleep. I could read people’s mind with ease, see them at great distances and walk among them unseen, but they never knew it. I forced myself to fit into my family’s living habits, meaning I ate and slept, or pretended to sleep when they went to sleep. When I thought they were safely in the “refreshing arms," of Morpheus, the god of sleep. I would prop my pillow under me and meditate until dawn, awakening to a joy past all words, past all powers of description.

I had previously suffered from asthma and was way overweight; now my body was flushed out of all toxins, and desire for fried food was wiped completely from my consciousness. My family and friends were aware of a great change in my appearance and manner; my face shone with a radiant light, my eyes were pools of joy. Strangers spoke to me, irresistibly drawn by a strange sympathy; at airports and other public places, children would run over to me and take my hand, asking me to visit them.

The principle of our existence is spiritual. The direction of our energies, the promulgation of our thought, the inspiration of our lives, is the soul. I knew within myself the rest is subsidiary and transitory. In the spiritual ...rests our greatness. And it is a poor economy that gives time and effort to the lesser at the expense and to the detriment of the greater. The experienced made me pause to think there always cling the elements of undesirability; the difficulty of their acquisition, the uncertainty of their possession. My mind began to increase and realize that spiritual growth is superior to material delinquencies. Its existence is above and beyond the material, and truth is eternal. I was beginning to see through the veil. The spiritual man is reading in the trees and flowers, in the mountains and sky, new lessons of truth whose beauty charms. He is creating in all who know his conduct a belief in spiritual values and he is finding in his own being, in his own life, a peace ineffable.

Fatigue was unknown to me; reading scripts seemed like child’s play, I could memorize long speech with just one glance. Conversing in person or over the telephone with directors or producers, my inward joy covered every action and circumstances with a cosmic significance, for to me these men, this telephone, this table.

The air that I breathed seemed super charged with energy. I felt that all the world was "home" to me, that I could never feel strange or alien in any place again; that the city, the countryside, the distant south which I knew was filled with bigoted whites, would be as much my own as the home I was living in when I was a child. The golden flies sparkling before mu eyes I assumed to be an "atom-dance”. Men and women throughout the ages and in every land ...have left their homes, their possessions, their families, all the allurements and hopeful possibilities of their world to see the air filled with myriad moving pin-pricks of light. Rather than lose the new consciousness of inner light and beauty; rather than relinquish their hold upon the dazzling, thrilling power of divinity; rather than give up possession of the new-found soul. During these weeks, I went about the motion picture business as usual, but with a hitherto unknown efficiency and speed. I could run for hours with resting, when I typed papers, the papers rocketed from ff my machine, without making a single typo.

In the midst of my work, I would suddenly be freshly overwhelmed by the goodness of sister Roh who had given me this incredible, unspeakable happiness. She touched my forehead once in a friend of her husband’s home, when an unner voice spoke to me saying “Magdalena, raises his consciousness.”

My breath quickly stopped completely at that moment; the awe that I felt would be accompanied by an absolute stillness within and without. Underlying all my consciousness was a sense of immeasurable and unutterable gratitude; a longing for others to know the joy that lay within them; but most of all, a divine knowledge, past all human comprehension, that all was well with the world that everything was leading to the goal of Cosmic Consciousness immortal bliss.

This state of illumination was present with me for a year, and then gradually I learned how to tone it down. Knowing that with deep meditation it would return with all its pristine force, though certain features, especially the sense of divine peace and joy, return whenever practices the praceptum meditation or my secret exercises.

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